“As we’ve seen in one ministry meltdown after another, character plays an indispensable role in forming, preserving, and undergirding a church’s culture. A lack of character in leadership can destroy decades of hard work, vision, and growth—in the blink of an eye.” -A Church Called Tov, p. 22
[This article is the seventh part of a new series on the topic of toxic leadership in the church, which is the topic I am teaching about at Pepperdine’s Harbor Conference this year.]
We’ve been talking a lot about the church leadership crisis and some of the ways we as leaders can confront our own toxic tendencies by taking a hard look in the mirror. We’ve highlighted self-awareness and humility as two key traits of healthy leaders.
In today’s post we’ll talk about one more — a commitment to developing a Christlike heart.
What Cups and Icebergs Teach us About Faith
In Matthew 23, Jesus compares our lives as followers of God to a cup. The outside of the cup represents our public lives (what we do, what we say, etc.), and the inside the cup represents our private lives (our thoughts, attitudes, and character).
Which one do you think is a higher priority for God?
There was apparently one group of people in Jesus’ day that thought as long as the outside of the cup was clean, they were fine. As long as they maintained the right image, performed the right religious ceremonies, and avoided making themselves impure according to the Law of Moses, God would accept them.
Jesus wasn’t buying it. Here’s what he said to those religious leaders:
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” -Matthew 23:25-26 (NIV)
At the risk of stating the obvious, Jesus wants our cups to be clean on the outside and the inside. He isn’t saying that only the inside matters; he’s saying that if you clean the inside of the cup, the natural result over time is that the outside of the cup will be clean as well.
One of the problems that contributes to the crisis of toxic leadership in the church is that some leaders still think like the Pharisees did. Some leaders still think that as long as they’re doing good things for God, the kind of person that they are beneath the surface doesn’t really matter. We have separated who we are (on the inside) from what we do (on the outside) and then bought into the lie that as long as the outside of our cup is clean, no one has the right to challenge us about the inside of our cup.
Jesus tells us the two are connected, and it’s actually more important to start on the inside and work your way out. Proverbs 4:23 says it like this: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (NIV).
“What I Do Matters. Who I Am Matters More.”
Peter Scazzero talks about all this in The Emotionally Healthy Leader:
“I figured as long as I was using my gifts for God and the fruit of my leadership was evident, all was good — even if my inner life was filled with chaos and anxiety. I was wrong. Inevitably, my interior life was reproduced in my exterior ministry. How could it not be? Especially when I couldn’t see that who I was on the inside with God was more important than what I did for God… Repeat after me: What I do matters. Who I am matters more.” (p. 39)
Can you relate to that at all? Have you ever found yourself putting a little too much emphasis on what you do while neglecting the kind of person you are beneath the surface?
My prayer is that we would all recognize the undeniable link between our character and our conduct, and choose to make God’s priority our priority.
The Ice Beneath the Surface
Peter Scazzero’s church, which is now being led by Rich Villodas, adopted an iceberg as part of their church logo. Why an iceberg? Because it conveys the same idea as the cups Jesus talked about in Matthew 23, except instead of the outside versus inside of a cup, it’s the things that can be seen above the surface versus below.
The vast majority of an iceberg lies beneath the surface of the water. What you can see is actually only a small portion of the total iceberg. Similarly, who we are beneath the surface represents the vast majority of our lives.
Here’s what Rich Villodas says about the spiritual significance of the iceberg:
“The iceberg brings to mind the goal of spiritual formation in Christ—namely, that Jesus wants to form his life in us. Significantly, about 90 percent of an iceberg remains unseen beneath the surface. And Jesus wants to transform our entire beings, not just the 10 percent that shows.” -Rich Villodas, The Deeply Formed Life, p. xiii-xiv
Healthy church leaders understand that what we do in a visible way matters, but who we are on the inside matters more. That’s because if we can get our hearts right, the right actions will naturally follow.
But the opposite isn’t always true — as the countless examples of church scandals across the world show us. Church leaders are entirely capable of doing the right thing (in public) while engaging in all kinds of sinful, abusive practices beneath the surface of their seemingly positive lives.
God Values Character More than Giftedness
“Spiritual credibility springs from a holy and pure life. Righteousness may not get the popular vote, but it should have no rivals in the preparation of an effective leader. From the pulpit to the pew, nothing is more stabilizing, more admirable, more compelling among the leadership qualifications than our personal holiness.” -Jerry Wragg
I’ll explore this idea in more detail in a future post, but for now let me simply ask you to spend some time reading through the passages in the Bible that describe what God is looking for in potential pastors / elders: Titus 1:7-9, 1 Timothy 3:1-7, and 1 Peter 5:1-3.
As you read those verses, ask yourself…
Does God seem to be more concerned with the outside of the cup or the inside of the cup?
How many of the non-negotiable requirements for ministry have to do with compelling sermons, ministry skills, fundraising prowess, or running the church like a business?
How many have to do with having a heart like Jesus?
What are the long-term consequences of ignoring these requirements when we hire ministers or select elders?
For those of us who are already in leadership positions, this should be a wake-up call that no amount of good things that we do for God can replace having a heart like God’s. In other words, we need to take God seriously when he tells us that who we are is more important than what we do — and we need to double down on cultivating a heart like Jesus.
Other Posts in this Series:
The Crisis of Toxic Leadership in the Church (April 25, 2024)
Why Don’t Churches Ditch Their Toxic Leaders? (April 27, 2024)
Confronting the Toxic Leader in the Mirror (April 29, 2024)
Unattended Baggage (May 1, 2024)
A Test of Character (May 3, 2024)
Honoring God in the Aftermath of Sin (May 5, 2024)
Developing a Christlike Heart (May 7, 2024)
Stopping Toxic Leaders Before It’s Too Late (May 9, 2024)