“It is easier to cry against one-thousand sins of others than to kill one of your own.” -John Flavel.
[This article is the third part of a new series on the topic of toxic leadership in the church, which is the topic I am teaching about at Pepperdine’s Harbor Conference this year.]
The church has a crisis on its hands, and you’ve got an important role to play in helping to solve it. In fact you are uniquely qualified to help one particular toxic leader come to their senses about their toxic tendencies and grow to become more like Jesus.
And you see them in the mirror every day.
Before we can fix anyone else (assuming that’s even possible), we need to take a hard look at our own toxic tendencies.
Jesus talks about this idea in Matthew 7:3-5:
“3 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (NIV)
I think this passage has a lot of bearing on our conversation about church health and toxic leadership. Here’s a few insights I gained from the passage:
Jesus acknowledges that both people have a problem that needs to be addressed.
Jesus wants both people to be able to see clearly.
Jesus knows that both people are capable of being healed (neither one is too far gone).
Jesus acknowledges that one person will play a role in helping the other find healing.
Jesus knows the human heart, and he knows that people will naturally want to fix other people before they fix themselves.
Jesus implies that our issues might be worse than the objectionable things we see other people doing.
Jesus teaches us that—contrary to our natural impulses—we need to confront our own issues before trying to fix anyone else’s.
There are plenty of toxic leaders that need to be confronted and re-formed into a better image of Jesus, but the one Jesus wants you to focus on first is staring at you in the mirror.
The First and Most Difficult Task in Leadership
A couple years ago I was part of a group of ministers that met together over the course of the year for encouragement, training, and fellowship. The facilitator of that group gave us all a copy of Peter Scazzero’s book The Emotionally Healthy Leader. One of the key things that Peter Scazzero talks about in all of his books is the necessity of looking inward (our thoughts, attitudes, character) and exploring how our family and our history have formed us into the people we are today. Taking this journey down to the core of our being allows us to see the parts of our lives that are both hidden from plain sight as well as deeply in need of being rescued and redeemed by Jesus.
In this passage, Peter Scazzero argues that this journey inward is the first and most difficult task we face as leaders:
“Most leaders search out books on leadership to discover new tools, ideas, or skills. We are charged with the task of knowing what to do next, knowing why it is important, and then bringing the necessary resources to bear to make it happen. Yet the first and most difficult task we face as leaders is to lead ourselves. Why? Because it requires confronting parts of who we are that we prefer to neglect, forget, or deny.” - The Emotionally Healthy Leader, p. 51.
Leadership isn’t just about ganging new skills, launching new programs, and getting things done. Leadership is also about taking a hard look in the mirror and confronting the parts of our lives that we’d rather keep hidden—from ourselves, from others, and from God.
Are you willing to take that journey inward? It might be painful, but it’s important. And it really is the primary task of leaders.
My next several posts will be focusing on some key traits that we can try to cultivate in order to confront our toxic tendencies and grow to become more like Jesus.
Specifically, we’ll talk about…
The danger of unattended baggage (and why self-awareness is so important for leaders)
Responding with humility when we’re in the wrong
Developing a Christ-like heart.
Other Posts in this Series:
The Crisis of Toxic Leadership in the Church (April 25, 2024)
Why Don’t Churches Ditch Their Toxic Leaders? (April 27, 2024)
Confronting the Toxic Leader in the Mirror (April 29, 2024)
Unattended Baggage (May 1, 2024)
A Test of Character (May 3, 2024)
Honoring God in the Aftermath of Sin (May 5, 2024)
Developing a Christlike Heart (May 7, 2024)
Stopping Toxic Leaders Before It’s Too Late (May 9, 2024)